S'All About Subtext

Hi I'm Kris and I cry about Dean a lot.

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Dean thinks Castiel is dead. Dean thinks that his best friend, after forcing himself to assume a form of sanity, to stitch himself back together from broken, mangled parts, is gone from him forever. Dean thinks it’s all his fault.

He checks if he’s a monster, because he doesn’t think what he did is human. It can’t be human. There’s no way. No way, no way, no way.

And his allegiance with Benny may have set him free, but it could not do the same for Castiel, Castiel who stood by him through the longest year, his only companion.

Castiel let go when he found out, all the clockwork within him shattering, shreds of glass turning an already damaged angel into something sickening, something twisted, something so sorrowful and sad human emotion can’t even register the full impact at once.

He saw enough of what was going to happen, enough to know it was all his fault. Dean thinks he’s to blame. Dean thinks Castiel’s assumed blood is on his hands, even if he never saw the charred wings for himself. Dean thinks there’s no chance for survival. 

Castiel is dead and according to Dean, it’s all his fault.

All his fault.

All his fault.